Little Things On the Way to Healing
Expertly rangling in the chaos into a mounted beast that carries me back to the space where this may have begun. Into the silent sanctuary, with air peppered with sorrow and grief. I sway sorting lullabies from spells, crooning softly in the waning moonlight. I collapse into 96 pieces of me and all the others I carry inside. I heal with a million little things on the path from now til then.
Meaningful Work
For a second, good news doesn’t feel so good when you can’t share it with the someone you want to share it with the most. Today would have been my dad’s 73rd birthday. And I’m feeling deeply connected to him in this time of transition and revelation.
Fear
If I can’t see what’s ahead for 2 miles, I’m definitely going into defensive granny mode. Especially at night. I’m one to slow down for every shadow and unseen curve.
This has been pretty true of the way I move throughout my life every day. I have a comparably low tolerance for uncertainty and chaos. I love spontaneity but only when it’s at a controlled pace. I want to call it to caution but it’s really just fear; fear that can sometimes cause me to forget how beautiful the chaos of life can be. And how often that chaos brings you to a person or thing that you love.
“What does it mean to defend the dead?”
Social death is the condition of not being accepted as human. It is the condition of being Black. But I am here, aren’t I?
Thoughts on Tennis
The capacity and strength to process your way through, allowing yourself to feel all the frustration, all the anger, all the fear to fuel a greater blooming. This is more than finding a silver lining. It’s about accepting the feels as they come, allowing them to wash over you, to consume you, and then finding your consciousness within the emotional climax, channeling it into something new.
Self-Celebration
May 20 was supposed to be a day that celebrated the closing of my chapter at NYU: holding commencement ceremonies with my family, friends, and peers. Instead, it’s a day that represents healing and a deeply reflective self-celebration.
